I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
3pm strippers are depressing
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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