When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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