no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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