I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
