The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
