nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
