So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
