so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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