problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
