Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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