I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
