i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
