and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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