Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
