FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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