Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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