At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
