was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
