I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
