i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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