hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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