Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
