i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
