Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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