Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
