just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
