guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so let's talk penis.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
