I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
