shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
