I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
