it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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