When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
