my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
