It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
