I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
