Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
