i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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