What a fucking waste of an outfit
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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