Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
