Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
