Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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