If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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