i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm just crazy horny about you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
