just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
