I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
