you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
