I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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