Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
