she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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