ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
