For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
