Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
