his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
